Joan Liveblogs the Emmys, Part 4: The Emmys Now Longer Than Kirstie Alley’s Grocery List
Sally Field – I was disappointed she was in a dress, rather than a suit of armor… or traction. And I’m proud that she walked up and down that stage knowing as we do about her brittle bones. God forbid she forgot to take her once a month Boniva pill. I was scared her spine would collapse on-stage. Clap softly, Sal… shattered arms look terrible in a sleeveless dress.
Who knew Al Gore owns a TV Station? So far he’s got an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and now he’s going for a Tony. He’s doing a musical on President Bush called The Lyin’ King.
What’s Al Gore’s speaking fee? Something tells me it’s $All You Can Eat. He’s probably wondering if his Emmy is made out of chocolate. He didn’t learn after breaking all his teeth on his Oscar!
Queen Latifah was nominated for Best Actress in Life Support. But I think her best work are her voice overs for Pizza Hut. You can really tell she believes in the product!
RACIST ALERT! They give the computer bit to the Asian guy from Heroes! Masi Oka. Of course, in his country, they’re called Broggers.
Hugh Laurie is so adorable! I find his limp so sexy. Before a man picks me up for a date, I have his knee caps broken.
Tony Bennett wins a well-deserved Emmy! This year, he left his heart AND his lung machine in San Francisco.
Joan: God love her, Elaine Stritch looks old!
Melissa: She is old.
Joan: AND NOW, FOR THE SIX PEOPLE THAT AREN’T SURE ELAINE STRITCH WAS NOT DEAD…
Melissa: Nothing like embarrassing an actress that knows how to memorize her lines than making her read a teleprompter.
Joan: Next year, she might get the Ronald Reagan Lifetime Achievement Award.
Inspired by OJ Simpson’s book “If I Did It”, Ryan Seacrest is releasing a book called “If I Were Gay, This Is What I Would Wear.” It’s a good thing he was wearing a Tudor outfit, cause the lady doth protest too much!
I’m confused. People in Hollywood used to come out of the closet… now they’re coming out of the Goddamned floorboards!
Ryan said his costume looked a lot less gay on the rack. Well, he looks a lot less gay on the radio!
I’m so bored with this show… It’s now officially longer than Kirstie Alley’s grocery list.
Continue Reading Joan Liveblogs the Emmys, Part 3: The Jersey Boys Are Why The Terrorists Hate Us
buvez.rose said,
September 16, 2007 @ 10:46 pm
did gaycrest just out himself? i’m dying here! please tell me that just happened….
bill said,
September 16, 2007 @ 10:52 pm
All I can guess is that Gaycrest wanted to give Joan and Kathy material for the next year.
cheeto's are yummy said,
September 16, 2007 @ 10:52 pm
Joan & Melissa….can’t have the Emmy’s without you….much less any other award show!….Miss you bunches!
Britney’s Cheeto Salad & Fried Chicken Sundae
Big Daddy said,
September 16, 2007 @ 10:53 pm
You wouldn’t mind it being long if it were entertaining. Much like those penis measureing contests we used to have in high school. Mine was curved from screwing around corners. Why were you always hiding behind those corners on me????
Todd Fuller said,
September 16, 2007 @ 10:54 pm
Joan and Melissa,
I am loving your blogging, but I miss you both on TV! It is not the same with out you on the Red Carpet! If you need to get away and re-group after this blogging come and stay with my partner and I at our home in Palm Springs (I am serious, I know thats kind of crazy.) We truly do love you both and hopefully the studio idiots will realize that the Joan and Melissa team are what the Red Carpet is all about!
Bill said,
September 16, 2007 @ 10:59 pm
I gotta tell you, not that it has not happened MANY MANY MANY times over the years, but I laughed so hard I cried when I ready your commets about Sally and her brittle bones! It’s scary to think that now that June allison is gone, depends is looking for their next spokesman!
DeRee said,
September 16, 2007 @ 11:29 pm
Too funny…
I can tell that Latifa is totally passionate about her pizza commercials..haha…
and Broggers…
lol.
miss you two!
Jenn said,
September 16, 2007 @ 11:35 pm
Joan stop making fun of ‘old’ people younger than you. it gets old….
Big Daddy said,
September 17, 2007 @ 12:26 am
ELAINE STRITCH is not dead. Just her career. She does look dead however. Someone should check her for a pulse. I was hoping someone would cut her and check to see if she bleeds embolbing fluid or fermaldyhde.
Kimberly Clark said,
September 17, 2007 @ 1:38 am
What’s wrong with being gay? What if Ryan Seacrest was really gay, could you hate him more than you already do? I think he’s straight, I think you have to be really gay to watch the Emmy’s and Joan River’s blog at the same time. That’s gay. I hate homophobes. Why is being gay always the punchline? It’s not funny. Melissa explain it to your mother who got rich off of gays coming to see her shows. I think straight women buy her tacky jewelry, even gay men arent’ that gay. Once again - fuck you homophobes.
brandon said,
September 17, 2007 @ 2:29 am
i personally hate fags,but im just addicted to the taste of cock,its a horrible cycle,joan and melissa are honorary gay men,plus ryan seacreast is just a cum towel not really gay per say,,he just thinks farting cum bubbles is a neat trick,dont tell him its gay,he’ll feel umcomfortable and wont be able to preform his trick,poor dear.
buvez.rose said,
September 17, 2007 @ 10:49 am
kc -
i’m not a homophobe….i just hate it that ryan has chosen not to come out to the public eye and hide behind the curtain of hollywood. it’s a known fact to his peers and friends that he’s out; he lives out - just not to the rest of us. i’m sick and tired of these ryan’s, jake’s, and kevin’s of the world thinking that their fans will reject them. what a cop out! come out, come out wherever you are!
br
IMANI ASSATA said,
September 17, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
iT’S GOOD TO SEE THAT YOU ARE SUCH STRONGER FIGHTER! i DO MISS YOU AND MELISSA ON THE AIR, BUT I’M GLAD YOU ARE STILL HERE. GOD BLESS
Joan said,
September 17, 2007 @ 2:02 pm
I missed you this year. You are a riot. Honesty in a fake world. Wanted ur blod above the show. keep it up! Do it again next year and this time… call them out how they are. xxx
Joy K said,
September 20, 2007 @ 9:33 pm
Missed You this year! looked all over hell! finally found this site. what next? ValuPaks?
Aris said,
October 18, 2007 @ 10:42 pm
Cool.
Ivan said,
October 19, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
Nice
Andros said,
October 19, 2007 @ 6:22 pm
Interesting…
Herakles said,
October 20, 2007 @ 3:33 am
Cool…
Anninos said,
October 20, 2007 @ 1:21 pm
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Othon said,
October 21, 2007 @ 1:41 am
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October 21, 2007 @ 6:34 pm
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Zeus said,
November 1, 2007 @ 10:07 am
Interesting…
Marko said,
November 1, 2007 @ 5:58 pm
Nice
Nick said,
November 1, 2007 @ 8:11 pm
interesting
Maximos said,
November 2, 2007 @ 12:38 am
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Maximos said,
November 2, 2007 @ 3:14 am
Sorry
Angelo said,
November 2, 2007 @ 5:49 am
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Neophytos said,
November 2, 2007 @ 6:53 am
Sorry
Iakovos said,
November 2, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
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Vasilis said,
November 2, 2007 @ 1:10 pm
Sorry
Anaklets said,
November 2, 2007 @ 10:09 pm
Interesting…
Doxiadis said,
November 3, 2007 @ 3:08 am
interesting
Christodoulos said,
November 3, 2007 @ 9:08 am
Nice
Thanasios said,
November 3, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
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Dino said,
November 3, 2007 @ 10:08 pm
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Pericles said,
November 4, 2007 @ 4:23 pm
Sorry
Maximos said,
November 4, 2007 @ 5:06 pm
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November 4, 2007 @ 6:23 pm
interesting
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interesting
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interesting
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Odysseas said,
November 8, 2007 @ 8:52 pm
Sorry
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Sorry
Marios said,
November 10, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
Sorry
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interesting
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November 12, 2007 @ 1:43 pm
Sorry
Thrasyvoulos said,
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Alexiou said,
November 12, 2007 @ 3:52 pm
Sorry
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November 12, 2007 @ 6:16 pm
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Mamadshah said,
November 12, 2007 @ 9:25 pm
Sorry
Gustas said,
November 12, 2007 @ 11:12 pm
interesting
Stephanos said,
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Nathanael said,
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Nice
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November 13, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
interesting
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November 13, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
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Nathanael said,
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Marinos said,
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Socrates said,
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Panagiotis said,
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interesting
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Sorry
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interesting
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Theologos said,
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Sorry
Ari said,
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Efthimios said,
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interesting
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interesting
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Aleda said,
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Efstathios said,
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interesting
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Nico said,
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November 20, 2007 @ 10:34 am
Sorry
Sebastianos said,
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Spyros said,
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Panicos said,
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Yiorgos said,
November 20, 2007 @ 4:55 pm
Sorry
Savvas said,
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Giannis said,
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Charilaos said,
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interesting
Kharilaos said,
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Leandros said,
November 21, 2007 @ 7:46 am
Sorry
Yiorgos said,
November 21, 2007 @ 4:02 pm
Cool!
Aleksiu said,
November 21, 2007 @ 4:37 pm
Sorry
Philippos said,
November 21, 2007 @ 5:12 pm
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Adamantios said,
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Herakles said,
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Emmanuil said,
November 22, 2007 @ 4:03 am
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Athanassios said,
November 22, 2007 @ 10:10 am
interesting
Anninos said,
November 22, 2007 @ 11:29 am
interesting
Anastasios said,
November 22, 2007 @ 5:58 pm
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Demetrios said,
November 22, 2007 @ 10:02 pm
Sorry
Efstratios said,
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Cool!
Georges said,
November 23, 2007 @ 8:37 am
Interesting…
Achilleas said,
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Nice
Thanasis said,
November 23, 2007 @ 1:07 pm
Sorry
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November 23, 2007 @ 10:52 pm
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Timotheos said,
November 24, 2007 @ 12:39 am
Sorry
Athones said,
November 24, 2007 @ 1:03 am
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Ioannes said,
November 24, 2007 @ 3:12 am
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November 24, 2007 @ 6:48 am
Sorry
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Arion said,
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Gregorios said,
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Evagelos said,
November 24, 2007 @ 8:23 pm
Cool.
Demetri said,
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Nice!
Cosmo said,
November 24, 2007 @ 8:50 pm
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Neophytos said,
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Nicolas said,
November 25, 2007 @ 6:15 am
Interesting…
Spyridon said,
November 25, 2007 @ 6:16 am
Interesting…
Angelo said,
November 25, 2007 @ 11:35 am
Sorry
Stratos said,
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November 25, 2007 @ 1:02 pm
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November 25, 2007 @ 5:02 pm
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Halu said,
November 25, 2007 @ 11:39 pm
interesting
Vasileios said,
November 26, 2007 @ 3:24 am
Cool!
Doxiadis said,
November 26, 2007 @ 8:28 am
Interesting…
Thanos said,
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Panagiotis said,
November 26, 2007 @ 6:05 pm
interesting
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Cool!
Evangelos said,
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Nice
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November 26, 2007 @ 10:14 pm
interesting
Nicolas said,
November 26, 2007 @ 11:17 pm
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Theologos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 1:43 am
Cool!
Pavlos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 2:36 am
Nice
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November 27, 2007 @ 2:36 am
Cool…
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November 27, 2007 @ 2:55 am
Nice
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November 27, 2007 @ 8:35 am
interesting
Glafkos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 8:36 am
Cool!
Panayiotis said,
November 27, 2007 @ 9:18 am
interesting
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November 27, 2007 @ 9:48 am
Cool.
Theodore said,
November 27, 2007 @ 9:52 am
interesting
Athanasios said,
November 27, 2007 @ 11:27 am
Cool!
Angelos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 1:09 pm
Cool.
Leontios said,
November 27, 2007 @ 1:50 pm
Sorry
Kalinikos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
Cool…
Aleda said,
November 27, 2007 @ 3:09 pm
Cool.
Odysseus said,
November 27, 2007 @ 4:53 pm
Nice
Milos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 6:11 pm
Nice
Alexandros said,
November 27, 2007 @ 7:01 pm
Cool…
Stefanos said,
November 27, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
interesting
Halu said,
November 27, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
Cool!
Athan said,
November 27, 2007 @ 9:56 pm
Nice
Lefteris said,
November 27, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
Nice!
Kleanthe said,
November 28, 2007 @ 12:43 am
Nice
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November 28, 2007 @ 1:51 am
Nice…
Yannas said,
November 28, 2007 @ 2:24 am
Nice…
Tassos said,
November 28, 2007 @ 3:13 am
Interesting…
Zenon said,
November 28, 2007 @ 3:26 am
Nice…
Kharilaos said,
November 28, 2007 @ 4:48 am
interesting
Evagelos said,
November 28, 2007 @ 9:41 am
Sorry
Lazaros said,
November 28, 2007 @ 10:02 am
Nice!
Xenophon said,
November 28, 2007 @ 10:21 am
Cool!
Stefanos said,
November 28, 2007 @ 10:44 am
Interesting…
Athones said,
November 28, 2007 @ 2:18 pm
interesting
Euaggelos said,
November 28, 2007 @ 3:13 pm
Sorry
Yioryios said,
November 28, 2007 @ 8:37 pm
Sorry
Panagiote said,
November 28, 2007 @ 9:13 pm
Cool.
Nickolas said,
November 28, 2007 @ 9:44 pm
interesting
Makis said,
November 29, 2007 @ 2:39 am
Nice!
Hristos said,
November 29, 2007 @ 2:59 am
Nice!
Stamatis said,
November 29, 2007 @ 4:46 am
Cool!
Chrysostomos said,
November 29, 2007 @ 6:35 am
Cool!
Elias said,
November 29, 2007 @ 7:40 am
Cool…
Hippocrates said,
November 29, 2007 @ 8:53 am
Cool.
Bikos said,
November 29, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
interesting
Savvas said,
November 29, 2007 @ 12:32 pm
Nice
Harrys said,
November 29, 2007 @ 3:05 pm
Interesting…
Apostolos said,
November 29, 2007 @ 3:48 pm
Nice
Eleftherios said,
November 29, 2007 @ 7:14 pm
Cool…
Panagiote said,
November 29, 2007 @ 8:39 pm
Nice…
Evis said,
November 29, 2007 @ 9:01 pm
Cool…
Costas said,
November 30, 2007 @ 2:59 am
Nice…
Isaakios said,
November 30, 2007 @ 6:29 am
Nice…
Alexander said,
November 30, 2007 @ 7:19 am
Cool…
Athones said,
November 30, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
Sorry
Ilias said,
November 30, 2007 @ 4:26 pm
Cool.
Valerios said,
November 30, 2007 @ 7:19 pm
Nice
Giatas said,
November 30, 2007 @ 10:24 pm
interesting
Eleftherios said,
December 1, 2007 @ 10:13 am
Nice!
Anninos said,
December 1, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
Cool!
Alexis said,
December 1, 2007 @ 3:07 pm
Cool.
Emmanouil said,
December 1, 2007 @ 3:13 pm
Interesting…
Leontios said,
December 1, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
Cool…
Stephanos said,
December 1, 2007 @ 4:49 pm
Nice
Tassos said,
December 1, 2007 @ 11:39 pm
Sorry
Giorgos said,
December 2, 2007 @ 1:12 am
interesting
Anastasios said,
December 2, 2007 @ 3:27 am
Nice…
Kristion said,
December 4, 2007 @ 6:31 am
Sorry
Stratis said,
December 4, 2007 @ 7:21 am
Cool!
Evenios said,
December 4, 2007 @ 8:37 am
Sorry
Yiannos said,
December 4, 2007 @ 9:55 am
Sorry
Aleda said,
December 4, 2007 @ 10:39 am
Cool!