Isaiah Washington is not there… a sedative dart hit him on his way in. They kicked the show off with an animated musical number. My favorite part was when they cut away to T.R. Knight after the Isaiah Washington joke… he looked terrified.

For the first time the Emmys are being done in the round, mainly to accommodate America Ferrera’s ass.

Ryan Seacrest is hosting the Emmys, the E! Red Carpet, American Idol, a Radio Show, and yet, he still makes times for monthly visits to the Minneapolis airport’s mens room. Speaking of which, do you know why Senator Larry Craig originally moved to Iowa? Boise!

Now you might have heard that the on-air hosts for 2 hours have to discretely relieve themselves off camera in bottles. What you didn’t know is, after the show all those bottles are collected and sold to Corey Feldman.

After seeing the opening, Ryan Seacrest’s monologue took 14 writers… 3 hung themselves, 2 set themselves on fire, 1 jumped from the fourth floor window, 3 choked each other, and 4 left the business –- not voluntarily.

They’re claiming Emmys are the greenest show ever, and that Ryan Seacrest is the greenest host ever.

Melissa: And for everybody who made fun of us saying “Who are you wearing?”, Ryan just opened the show with it.

Joan: Ray Romano, very good doing his stand-up act. It’s almost the same set that I saw at Caroline’s a few months ago… but he managed to add a few more jokes and about 20 more minutes.

The duet between Christina Aguilera and Tony Bennett was wonderful… if you wanted to slow the pace of the show down.

Alec Baldwin wore a white dinner jacket, post-Labor day! Wrong, wrong, wrong…. but I understand the jacket, the guy loves dinner! He told Melissa he couldn’t wear his black one, as Kim had cut it into little pieces and burnt it.

Jamie Pressly was so emotional when she won. It’s just an Emmy for Chrissakes! She acted like the Sunnis and Shiites had stopped fighting.

My favorite category, Best Supporting Actor in a Mini-Series, no one in America thought Thomas Hayden Church in Broken Road. When did that air? His mother must be a member of the academy.

Biggest disappointment since my wedding night? Michael Imperioli not winning. The reason? His wife isn’t big enough. Looks like Terry O’Quinn already has a giant golden statue. Here’s one thing that will never be Lost… Terry O’Quinn’s wife!

Melissa: We learned more about Terry O’Quinn in the last 30 seconds than on how many seasons of Lost? Pink shirt, sparkly tie, and his wife.

Continue Reading Joan’s Liveblog From the Red Carpet, 7:40-8:00