Our final take on all the Emmys action!

Of this Emmys telecast.

The Sopranos win, and there’s no one left in the audience. Including me!

Melissa and I are going to record our final podcast with our thoughts on the entire show — we will be posting it in about an hour. In the meantime, check out my Ebay auctions for charity, and scroll down to read our liveblog, as well as see the slideshows from the red carpet and Emmy stage. Plus, all of our videos that we slaved over today. We had a great time doing this. But we’re not done yet! Check back in in about in hour’s time for a recap of the entire 9 hour long ceremony!

Read Joan Liveblogs the Emmys, Part 6: Ooh, Ooh! It’s Almost Over!!

Melissa and I continue our coverage of New York’s celebrities’ fashions with the best and worst of the red carpet!

Featuring photos of some of our favorite comedians, including Stephen Colbert, Steve Carrell, America Ferrera, and our favorite comedian of all, Kanye West.

More pictures from the ceremony — including Stephen Colbert with a leaf blower, and a pregnant Christina Aguilera dueting with Tony Bennett, one of the strangest combinations since Britney Spears and Pants.

Here are more photos from the Emmys press room, including shots of Robert Duvall showing off his new bookends and Daddy Warbucks’ looking pleased for once.

IN MEMORIUM: Fred Flintstone died! Holy shit! I don’t know if I can recover. And Jack Palance is dead? Finally. I could’ve sworn he’s been in these tributes for the past 5 years. I’m very depressed with this tribute… there goes my entire Christmas Card list.

The best of these In Memoriums was the year when Jessica Tandy’s died and was also nominated for an award, but ended up not winning. Of course not — you think the Academy wants to waste an award on a corpse

America Ferrara’s win is not deserved! When you’re up against Felicity Huffman… Come on… plus, We’re all here trying to figure out how many Smurfs died to make that dress.

Note to Kate Walsh: That’s what you get for hiring a straight hairdresser.

There’s so much hot air coming out of the Shrine Auditorium, the world’s temperature just went up 2 degrees. When the highlights of the evening are the musical numbers, you wish they just would have announced the winners during the f*cking Grammys.

30 Rock wins best comedy! Which means now it’s almost definitely going to be canceled. And check out Tina Fey… she looks great! For a Greek comedian.

Continue Reading Joan Liveblogs the Emmys, Part 5: Sally Field Gets Stooping Ovation

In this slideshow, some nobodies, an Irishman, a Jew, and an Asian Unicorn.

The following slideshow will make you wonder if Al Gore won his Emmy for Best Supporting Corpse on Six Feet Under.

We’re very happy to see Kanye West participating in the yet another awards show… we can’t wait to see the backstage video of him throwing a tantrum about not winning. Sure, he wasn’t nominated, but he swears he’s never coming back to the Emmy’s again!

Jesus… You know it’s time to change the channel when one awards show is spoofing another.

For those of you who are as bored as I am with this shit, Gunfight at the OK Corral is on Turner Classic Movies. And it’s Gem Week on QVC! Not everybody likes Kanye West, but everybody likes lapis. And 31-7 Patriots.

You know, I was thinking about it: Phil Martin won Best Director. He’s British. Helen Mirren. British. Hugh Laurie. British. Bionic Woman. British. Rachel Griffiths. Australian. President Bush, for Chrissakes, close the borders!

Finally, Steve Carrell breathes some life into the Emmys!

Sally Field wins! All over America, women with osteoperosis are giving her a stooping ovation! You can bet that Edie Falco is regretting guzzling all that milk! They like me, they really like me!

Sally Field said that If Mothers ruled the world, there would be no Goddamned war. Tell that to Eleanor Roosevelt, that old dyke, and Mary Todd Lincoln, that crazy old dyke! And on the other hand, we don’t know what she said, Fox cut her off. Maybe she said “If Mothers ruled the world, they’d send their kids to more whorehouses!”

Apparently, she’s not just satisfied with the Boniva endorsement… now she’s angling for dementia medication. After tonight’s behavior, I’m realizing she wasn’t acting in Sybil. It makes you wonder which part she played on Smoky and the Bandit. In fact, please answer this two-part question –

What do you guys think Sally Field said? And what medication do you think she forgot to take today?

Continue Reading Joan Liveblogs the Emmys, Part 4: The Emmys Now Longer Than Kirstie Alley’s Grocery List